When a woman walks into a restaurant alone, the Maitre d’ might have one of the following reactions:
- He/she looks behind her to see if there is another diner.
- He/she asks: Are you expecting someone else?
- He/she takes you to a table often near the kitchen, or service area.
Some background information. It is a statistical fact that men diners tip more than women tip. Larger groups of men tip eve more, when wait staff is female and young.
As a result, women solo diners begin with a sexist disadvantage.
Here is a real anecdote about dining alone at a North Carolina golf resort. When entering the main dining room, I saw a table of 8-10 men enjoying rounds of drinks before dinner. As they were served, I waited for a menu. None came. Finally I went to the Maitre D’ and complained. Unsmiling wait staff promptly took the order. It was obvious: choose the old lady eating alone or fuss over the corporate drinking group. The dinner was good but awkward.
Lesson to be learned, when entering a dining room where there is only a big table of men, announce yourself confidently. I see you are busy tonight, can you assure me I will be taken care of?
Here are other ways for better treatment when a woman dines alone
Script one: As suggested, make your entrance: Ask for a better table with a positive comment. This is such a lovely restaurant, I would prefer to sit over there. Avoid the negatives like I did.
Second script: the concierge at my hotel recommended this restaurant and I am sure it will be as good as described.
If you are shy about talking to the Maitre d’, have the concierge book the restaurant for you and tell them you are coming alone.
Bring a prop. The best is a Financial Times newspaper. The paper is pink. It announces: I am in finance, on a business trip.
Dress the part; that means you need to pack black leggings and a nice scarf (at minimum).
Act the part, big smile, chatty introduction to the Maitre d’ Ooze compliments.
Speak in past perfect tense, I am told the food is excellent. You infer your team has eaten at this place.
Treatment of women is slowly changing. Mainly changing for younger business women. So you are an old lady who likes good food?? like me? Try some of the above ideas, and let us know the results. For more information on our small group tours for women call us or click here.
